Step One in developing your sense of style is confidence in who YOU are.
Just like everything else in life, fashion is a choice and you get to choose how you're seen and who you are. You get to develop your sense of style with each item you purchase, how you put them together and how you wear them. I've been jotting down some notes and working on my next book and it's surprising how fashion ties into the big picture of ourselves, how we choose to live and the success that follows.
It should be no surprise though, because we all know that when we get dressed up, throw on our favorite blouse and those killer shoes, we feel good and walk a little taller. But when we head out to the store with no make-up on, dirty hair, wearing sweats, we find ourselves darting down the aisles hoping we don't see anyone we know.
Sound familiar? Yes, everything is based on how we're perceived by others, whether we like it or not, and the vibes we're putting out come from how we're feeling about ourselves inside. How do you want to be perceived? Who do you want to be? The choice is yours.
I (Vanessa) was the high school girl who got up early every morning and actually had a calendar marked with what I wore each day so I didn't have a repeat for 2 months. 2 months!! I didn't have a ton of clothes, I was just very creative in how I put things together and I raided my mom's closet often. Then, in an 8:00 am college class I had someone say, "I just have to ask, what time do you get up in the morning?" Clearly earlier than you.....You weren't going to catch me rolling into class in my pajamas! I guess it's no surprise I went on to own a boutique.
Wren wasn't quite as fashion forward as I was in high school, she really liked her mossy oak camo! But that was her style developing and she was confident in how she wore it. As she got a little older her tastes matured, but you know we still love our camo! Now she's one of the best dressed on campus but more importantly, one of the most confident in who she is.
It doesn't matter what you are wearing, but how you're wearing it. It may be something grungy, but if that's your style and you are proud and confident and have actually thought out your grunge look with a purpose, then that's your style. Fitness professionals or hard-core workout women are another great example. They may be running around in workout wear all day and look great and put together because that is who they are and they are confident in that. Yes, I work out too, but when I run around in active wear, I just look like a mom who got in her workout but hasn't showered yet. It's not who I am, it's not my style. I wish it was!!
The message here is to know who you are, stand strong on your two feet, firmly planted, in full confidence and purpose. Own it! If you can't do that, start exploring why and working on what pops up for you as to why you're lacking confidence in an area. And act on stepping into yourself. Don't make excuses. Only YOU can change something you don't like and that starts with a decision.
Your personal fashion style is a true reflection of what is inside of you and the confidence, self-assurance and purpose that you possess or don't possess. If you look like you just rolled out bed everyday with very little effort into how you look, are you a hot mess inside too? There's a good chance there's a correlation there. Obviously, we all have those hot mess days, but when each day follows along those lines, it's time to step it up. Step it up to become a better you.
If confidence radiates from what is inside and you're not feeling that inner confidence, it's time to reverse engineer it! Time to get to work on building up that confidence by getting up, pulling out something cute in your closet even when you want to reach for sweats, putting on some make-up and doing your hair. I promise, just doing that every day is going to get you out of a funk and boost positive feelings and you'll start to develop into who you're meant to be.
Here are my 5 tips on developing confidence from within:
- Walk with purpose. Stand up straight, pick up your feet and don't meander slowly and aimlessly. Wherever you're going, go with purpose.
- Your bed is not the local hangout. Get up and out of your room to propel you forward into a more confident you. Your room is naturally a place of rest, idleness, recuperation and romance and that's what it should be used for. Although those are necessary actions, they aren't the action that will allow you to develop into your best self. That goes for the couch too! Which is essentially used for the same purposes unless you're entertaining guests and chatting in the living room!
- Speaking of rooms of the house, clean them up! No fashionista can live in a pit. And whatever you do, don't do selfies in the bathroom or with a pile of clothes and an unmade bed in the background. Unless you want to be known as a pig. These things matter when developing into your most confident self!
- Pick something that is like signing your signature to each outfit. This may increase your confidence level if you have something to build around.
For example, I advise women going to business conferences where they're going to meet a ton of people to pick a statement piece and rock it each day. Maybe you wear a big, noticeable necklace every day. I know of a woman who wears a fascinator in her hair each day. Yes, I said a fascinator. That may be a little over the top for me, but she is memorable, and it is HER!
For Wren, her fashion statement is loud and clear, she always wears the gorgeous Turquoise pieces we offer. They are stunning and what do they say about her. She cares about quality, appreciates craftsmanship, she's worth the price and she's unique like each stone. One statement cuff can say all of that. I have a thing for handbags. I can't carry a cheap, non-leather bag (unless it's another natural material like straw or fabric. Just no plastic!). I don't even need the iconic brand bag, I just need a well-made bag. What does this say about me? I don't like cheap, I like natural materials, I appreciate well done craftsmanship and I'm worth the price. Explore what something you love says about you, it may surprise you!